Disclaimer: This post is based on my experience and what I have learned from others around me. It is also based on Jack Lam's Youtube video, "why MOST of self-care is misleading". People may have a different perspective on this issue and if you feel the need to add something to this post, feel free to write about it in the comments.
Throughout the past couple of years, bath bombs and face masks have come to the frontlines of what we call self-care. However, the way the media portrays self-care, relaxing baths or lighting a candle, for example, is not always accurate. Most people today believe self-care to be something you need to do when you're at your breaking point, when you have no other option but to take care of yourself. And although this alleviates your anxiety and depression for a while, it is not a permanent solution. If you think about it, by only taking good care of yourself when life gets tough is not self-care, but damage control.
Self-care is not limited to manicures, eating a healthy meal once in a while, face masks, or bath bombs. Self-care is an active job. It's fixing the things in your life that are causing you to get to the breaking point. This can range from stopping a bad habit to removing a toxic relationship from your life. It all depends on your situation. Self-care is taking care of yourself everyday, not just once in a while.
However, the media these days has turned self-care into a product, something that you can buy that will magically fix all of your problems. But that's simply untrue. They advertise these bath bombs and face masks as something that will help with stress, anxiety, and will help you relax when there is a much bigger problem. These products may relieve stress for a certain amount of time, since it can be relaxing, but the problem that is causing all of the stress is still in your life. Instead of addressing the root cause, you are simply more inclined to keep buying the products advertised by the media. That's not to say that these products are bad (I definitely enjoy face masks) but they are not a permanent "cure".
To be actively practicing self-care is to listen to your body and your mind everyday. Don't overwork yourself to the point where you feel like everything is going to come crashing down. Use moderation. Do something that you enjoy and that makes you happy at least once everyday, even if it's for a short amount of time. If a toxic person is in your life, don't be afraid to cut them out. This might be incredibly difficult, especially if this is someone you're really close with, but at some point you need to think about yourself and your health. Maybe you two just don't interact well with each other. There's no shame in that! There are so many people in the world. We're bound to meet some we don't "click" with. Self-care is going to the gym everyday (if you're able) not just when you ate a big meal and feel guilty about it.
Self-care is an everyday part of our lives and can differ from person to person depending on what they are able to do and what they need to focus on. Having said all of that, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with taking one day (or more) of the week to pamper yourself a little and practice some stereotypical "self-care". Personally I dedicate one day of the week to self-care. A day where I take care of myself, listen to what my body needs, and do all of the things that make me feel good. I call it Self-Care Sunday. The idea came from Sephora's Skin Care Sunday, where they usually have a bunch of sales on their website. I thought,"Why not make it into a general self-care day?" Every Sunday, I try to take some time to myself, to do the things that make me happy like working out (as best as I'm able to that day), drawing or painting, spending time with my family and pets, watching my favorite movie, and, of course, using a body scrub, a face mask, drinking some herbal tea, and reading a good book. On these days I like to disconnect from social media and try to just enjoy the moment. I also try not to work on Sundays and really take the day for myself.
I understand that this is all coming from an extremely privileged point of view and that not everyone has this luxury. Many people don't have the luxury of not working on Sundays, or buying face masks or other self-care products. And a lot of people are so busy working that they don't necessarily have time to work out every day, or they might be disabled/struggling with illness and are unable to exercise. To those people I would simply say to do what you can. In no way am I encouraging you to go buy self-care products. But I am encouraging you to surround yourself with people that make you feel happy and welcomed. And like I said earlier, try to do something that makes you happy at least a little bit every day, whether it be drawing or looking at funny animal videos, just find something that will make you happy.
I wish you all well.